Just Breathe
by Leradomi
Summary: Bart can't stand the pressure of being Kid Flash. That, with the guilt of Wally's death and Nightwing's leave of absence, everything is going too fast for Bart and he is trying to hide it. After a mistake on a mission, it finally all comes out and Jaime is there for him. I always appreciate reviews, and need them so I know what to do correctly. Thanks!


Just Breathe

Bart can't stand the pressure of being Kid Flash and after a mistake on a mission it all comes out. Jaime is there for him.

A/N: Thank you to my beta Alex Skywalker. This is Bluepulse slash but NO SEX. I hope that makes sense. "Mi Carino" means my sweetheart. "Mi amore" means my love. PLEASE give me reviews it helps me improve if I know what I am doing right and what I am doing wrong.

The mission was a success….no thanks to Bart Allen, the current Kid Flash. Bart hasn't been Kid Flash long; he's still getting used to the suit, let alone all the other things that come with it: the stares, the double takes…..the guilt. Everyone tells Bart that this is what Wally wanted; Bart always replies that Wally told him that in expectation of the older speedster retiring and mentoring him. But now…..he can't, then walks away.

When they return from the mission they suffer through the debriefing from Batman, Bart receiving particularly hard chastising from the Bat. The guilt from messing up the mission is added to the guilt poor Bart already feels over Wally's death. It hasn't been long since the speedster sacrificed his life for the world, yet Bart feels responsible for his death. Bart thinks he should have known from the future, but Wally was alive in the future. Bart's boyfriend, Jaime, the Blue Beetle, tries to comfort him when his guilt gets the better of him.

Jaime reminds him that he has changed the time-stream so much since coming to the past that anything is possible now. Bart then argues that he should have slowed down, to take more hits for Wally, but Jaime reminds him that after the first strike it was too late. The scarab already knew what was going to happen to Wally. If only Jaime had been with Bart on this latest mission, but he hadn't. Actually, the speedster and the beetle haven't spent that much time together recently, what with Bart being busy with missions and adjusting to being Kid Flash and Jaime going through testing with his scarab and doing damage control from his time on mode with the reach.

A day after the "messed up" mission, it's the talk of the tower, though with little to no details of what actually happened. The zeta tube activates and Jaime steps through. The place feels too empty without Wally and Nightwing in it. Jaime clearly remembers the day that Bart found out Nightwing had left.

**FLASHBACK**

_Connor had joined Jaime and Bart on the couch, the latter of whom was trying to decide on a program to watch. Bart was in a rare quiet funk, still reeling from Wally's death._

"_It's quiet. It's never quiet wherever Wally is," Bart suddenly spoke up._

"_Well, it's about to get even quieter now that Nightwing's leaving," Connor said, not realizing the damage he had just done._

_Bart perked up. "What? Nightwing's leaving?"_

"_Yah, he decided to take a leave of absence," Connor said. _

_Jaime rubbed a hand over his face in frustration. He had heard the rumors and hoped they weren't true, but he hadn't mentioned anything to Bart about it, hoping to spare the speedster the pain of losing more people. _

_Bart immediately took off around the tower, stopping momentarily in the room they were in each time he passed it. Each time he stopped he was getting more frantic, more upset, and more emotional._

"_Bart! Bart, what's wrong mi carino, what's up?" Jaime asked, knowing full well what was wrong as he went to Bart before he could take off again._

"_I have to tell Nightwing not to leave, I'll leave. I will be the one to leave. I won't be Kid Flash anymore; I'll go back to being Impulse and stop being such a fraud-"_

"_A Fraud? Wait, Wally wanted you to wear the red and yellow-"_

"_Don't you see? I'm the reason Nightwing is leaving! Because of me, because I remind him of Wally! You think I don't see the double take he does when I walk into the room? Or how he has virtually acted like I don't exist, trying not to send me on missions like he is trying to protect a piece of Wally? Until Batgirl intervenes, he never even talks to me!" Bart was close to tears. It was breaking Jaime's heart._

"_Look, Nightwing is probably tired; he's been under a lot of pressure and has been doing this longer than any of us. Maybe he doesn't know that Wally wanted you to-"_

"_He knows." And with that Bart took off again. But it would be no use. Nightwing had already left._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Jaime is shaken from his memories by a commotion down the hall where the rooms were. Rounding the corner he can see towards the end of the hall that there is a crowd in front of a door, obviously frightened and keeping their distance, not entering the room. Jaime starts down the hall realizing it's Bart's room everyone is standing in front of. Jaime hears screaming coming from the room…Bart's voice! He's screaming unintelligible words and Jaime can't even make out what the speedster's so upset about. Jaime can't see from the back of the crowd so he allows his armor to cover his body and floats above the crowd. What he sees scares him.

What Jaime sees is Bart quite literally out of control. He's just screaming and destroying his room. Tearing posters off walls, arm swiping his things off the top of his dresser (some of them souvenirs he started collecting per Wally's advice.) Jaime hears the scarab rattling off Bart's vitals and is alarmed at how off they are…..even for a speedster, who normally have higher heart rates than normal humans. Jaime asks the scarab what's causing this but the scarab doesn't know, he needs more information.

'So do I,' Jaime thinks.

Jaime sees Bart going for a shelf against the wall. The shelf is higher up and Bart is unable to get to it, frustrating the speedster even more. Jaime sees this as his chance. Putting back his armor he pushes his way through the crowd to the front where he sees M'gann trying to talk Bart down. She's noticeably keeping her distance as well, floating in the air in his room to avoid the speedster's wrath. Upon seeing Jaime, M'gann starts apologizing for some strange reason, saying she's tried to get through to him and that no one knows what set him off. Her voice is in the background to Jaime as his focus is on getting to Bart.

"Bart! Bart!" Jaime yells as he grabs the younger boy from behind, one hand going up to stroke his cheek. It is only upon hearing Jaime's voice that Bart finally stops, turning suddenly in Jaime's arms and seeing Jaime with wide open eyes and almost ready to strike. Bart then slowly looks around and seems surprised to see M'gann, the crowd, and what he did to his room. Jaime takes a step back but places a hand on Bart's shoulder.

"You ok man?"

Bart slowly nods as he continues to look at the crowd and the room in amazement. This wasn't good.

Jaime turns to M'gann. "Don't worry, I got this."

From there M'gann and Jaime start to tell the crowd of people to disperse and go, that it was all over. Jaime keeps repeating 'I got this', trying to convince both himself and the others. Though no one ever confirms it, nor is it talked about much, everyone pretty much knows that Bart and Jaime are in a relationship, meaning that Bart is in good hands. M'gann is the last person in the doorway and she turns to Jaime and smiles.

"Take care of him, and if you need anything-"

"I'll call," Jaime finishes for her as he smiles and expresses his thanks. He then closes the door and locks it, not wishing to be disturbed.

Jaime goes over to Bart, who is fiddling with the goggles in his hands and looking at the floor, breathing heavily and quickly.

"Do you want me to call Flash?" Jaime asks.

Bart slowly shakes his head. Good, at least Bart is more in control now and having some clear recognition.

"Doooo yoooooou want me to call Artemis?" Jaime tries again, to which Bart vigorously shakes his head.

Bart takes a couple of shaky steps towards a full length mirror and looks up at it, tear tracks now visible on his face. He's still breathing like he is out of breath - no surprise considering the number he did on his room - but instead of his breathing slowing down it appears to be speeding up. The scarab confirms this.

Jaime isn't sure if Bart is having a panic attack or what, but then he realizes something. Bart ruined his room at regular speed, and he's out of breath. Bart could ruin his room in a single second and never even need to take a breath which meant…..

"The Impulse, correction, Kid Flash has not been eating," the scarab says at the same time Jaime comes to the conclusion. Jaime then comes to the next conclusion that only he, and not the scarab, could come to: Bart doesn't need Flash, or Artemis, or even Nightwing to come back. He needs his best friend, his partner in crime (and chicken whizzes), his boyfriend….and lover. They've done other stuff other than officially consummating their relationship. Bart isn't ready for that. Jaime can tell that he isn't ready for a particular reason, one that Bart won't talk about, and one that Jaime won't pressure him to talk about.

Jaime walks over to join Bart at the mirror, sending thoughts to the scarab to give them some privacy and silence for a couple of hours to which the scarab agrees to, only because he does not want to be involved in their situation. Jaime stands next to Bart and realizes how flushed his face is, how much he has been crying, and that he has lost a little weight, as skinny as he already was. Yup, that seals Jaime's suspicions that Bart hasn't been eating. When speedsters don't eat they lose weight rather quickly due to their metabolism. Jaime silently berates himself for not recognizing something was wrong earlier. They truly haven't been spending enough time together lately.

Jaime steps forward, wrapping his arms around Bart's thin waist. Bart puts his arms around Jaime's neck and puts his head sideways on Jaime's broad upper chest close to his neck. Bart is a little bit shorter than Jaime. Bart is struggling to control his breathing.

"You know Artemis doesn't think you're a fraud. She is actually quite proud of you for taking up the mantle and honoring Wally's wishes. She knows it wasn't easy." Jaime says, trying to start.

"She wouldn't be proud of the way things went on yesterday's mission. She would probably tell me to take off the uniform and never wear it again, which is exactly what I'm going to do." As Bart separates from the embrace, he drops the goggles and pulls the top cowl back while his feet make quick work of the boots and his hands take off his gloves. But before he can get any further Jaime wraps him up in the embrace again, shushing him as Bart's emotions get away from him.

"Do you know what happened on the mission?" Bart asks.

"Shhh, Bart, it doesn't matter."

"Yes, yes it does matter. We were doing good when someone who saw me said that it looked like Kid Flash was back from the grave and it just took me by surprise and I froze. I hesitated and it caused two team members to get injured and some of the bad guys to get away. Lower level ones, but we still needed them for questioning and because of me, they got way. Then things got no better when we got back and Batman laid into me in front of everyone during the debriefing, as if I didn't already know I screwed up. Then do you know how many times I heard people mumbling that the real Kid Flash wouldn't have froze? I didn't need super-hearing to hear what they all felt, what they truly felt behind their masks." Bart goes on and on, never slipping into speed-talk. But, at the mention of the betrayal of ones he thought of as friends, the emotions come out and Bart starts sobbing, clinging to Jaime like a lifeline.

"Shhhh, mi carino, it's ok. It will be alright, just talk to me, I'm right here," Jaime says, one hand stroking Bart's hair and the other rubbing circles on his back. It is a soft touch in response to the hard clutching grip Bart has on Jaime. On Jaime's prompt Bart finally begins to let it all out, the root of the problem.

"It's all happening too fast, even for me, the…..the s-s-s-peedster, the f-f-f-fastest kid on the p-p-p-planet and everything is happening too fast. W-W-Wally's gone, Artemis is Tigress, Nightwing left, even grandpa Barry is keeping his distance from me. I-I-I- don't know what to do, it's all happening too fast, how do I stop it, it's too fast, I-I-I- don't know what to do. What do I do?" Bart starts panicking, his grip on Jaime becoming harder and more desperate as if he's slipping and trying desperately to hang on. Jaime just softly and calmly holds him in return.

"Breathe," Jaime says.

"What?" Bart asks as he looks up at Jaime, who just puts Bart's head back on his chest.

"Just breathe, that's all you have to do right now, hermano. That's it, breathe." He feels Bart finally slow down his breathing and take a deep breath. "Just breathe, carino, I'm right here, I'm not letting you go, so all you have to do is breathe, that's it." If things are going too fast for a speedster it's bad for Bart. Bart suddenly speaks.

"You used to tease me that I had three Flash mentors…..now I only have…" he can't finish his sentence as the sobbing takes over his talking.

Jaime doesn't forget what Bart had said about Barry: 'even Grandpa Barry is keeping his distance from me'. Jaime doesn't doubt that this is something that Bart's paranoia was dredging up, but makes a mental note to maybe talk to Flash about it. For now, however, Bart is his and he's going to do everything possible for him, including dealing with Barry.

"Bart?" Jaime says checking if Bart is still with him.

"Hmmm?" Bart replies. He has calmed down some.

"When is the last time you ate?" Jaime asks, still stroking his hair and back as he keeps Bart against him and keeps him calm so as not to alarm him with the question. He feels Bart's eyebrows furrow against his chest. Bart hasn't even realized, just like he didn't realize he trashed his room. Bart has truly been living in a fog lately.

"I guess before the mission yesterday?"

And with that answer Jaime immediately starts looking around the destroyed room for one of the thousand power bars that Bart keeps in his room. He finally finds one and practically crams it in Bart's mouth before unwrapping a second one and handing it to Bart.

"Not good, mi carino."

Bart turns around at Jaime's scolding and eats his power bar as he eyes his handiwork of his room. Jaime steps up behind Bart.

"Don't worry, we'll have this cleaned up in a Flash." Trying to make a joke, Jaime puts his hands on Bart's shoulders and squeezes. Bart is tense, very tense. Jaime squeezes again, affirming that Bart is really tense and starts to knead Bart's shoulders as he finishes off the second power bar. Bart takes a step back and leans his back onto Jaime's shoulder.

"Mmmm, that feels so crash right now."

"I bet it does; you are really tense." Jaime's hands knead all the way down Bart's back, his lips kissing the nape of Bart's neck, hoping his affectionate ministrations help calm the younger boy.

Jaime marches Bart to the bed as he massages his arms and legs, amazed at how much tension is in the smaller body. He ends each massage part with a loving, longing kiss to the body part.

"Relax, mi amore."

Soon they are relaxing on the bed, Jaime propped up by the headboard and Bart between his legs, held up by Jaime's chest. Jaime's hands are in Bart's hair, massaging his scalp and the boy becomes putty in his hands. Jaime then turns Bart's head to the side and leans forward to plant a passionate kiss on Bart's lips. One which Bart returns. After some hot and heavy kissing Bart is fully calm.

"It'll take some time, but I'm going to have to make a decision whether I go back to being Impulse or try to go forward being Kid Flash."

"And you know I will be there for you no matter what you decide."

"I know," Bart responds as he plants another kiss on Jaime's lips. "As long as I breathe, I know you will be there." Bart smiles.

Jaime returns the smile and holds Bart lovingly. The two remain just like that through the night, both knowing that all they have to do is…..just breathe.


End file.
